long days make for easy heartbreaks when the heart is as weak as the day is long and the mind aches as deep as the night sky is dark.
i may just be ready to dig my hole and break away into the gentle mud
tell me a story about a day past when love was fresh and vibrant and just so easy to feel
im so drawn down into the earth and you cant come down to me and i cant stretch any harder i cant reach any farther
your beautiful eyes so timid so bright, you are the only star in my sky
shining and glimmering you are the one thing i cant reach and the only being worth reaching for.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
and so it is.
My head rests upon your pillow, twisted in blankets, sheets wrapped around me like a wrestler his opponent. I'm waiting for you to reenter your room. I'm anxious wondering how long it will take you to realize I'm nude beneath all this raveled mess of extreme softness bound around my body.
Then, there you are. smiling. happy, content. speaking lowly. You lay near me. touching my face gently, as you move the hair away from my eyes and mouth. telling me I'm a pretty face with a beautiful soul, you rest your chin against my forehead and before I realize it I'm waking up to your chin against my forehead.
I sneak away, get dressed and return to find you waiting. you have little words to describe much but many words to describe me.
Saying you want to get to know the beauty inside the beauty and understand the beast in her that screams a constant howling cry. You take my hand, look me in the eye and tell me I'm you're best friend.
Then, there you are. smiling. happy, content. speaking lowly. You lay near me. touching my face gently, as you move the hair away from my eyes and mouth. telling me I'm a pretty face with a beautiful soul, you rest your chin against my forehead and before I realize it I'm waking up to your chin against my forehead.
I sneak away, get dressed and return to find you waiting. you have little words to describe much but many words to describe me.
Saying you want to get to know the beauty inside the beauty and understand the beast in her that screams a constant howling cry. You take my hand, look me in the eye and tell me I'm you're best friend.
Monday, July 18, 2011
when you can only think the word "FUCK"
& you know its not the word to say.
i feel as though you've taken my toes and put a hammer to each of them, gently caressing my freshly shaven legs and smiling that condescending smile through your deadly eyes, tracing your knife up and down until every ligament has been tore muscle hanging out of my stripped legs, tears falling and i beg you I'll try harder, to do better, knowing i can no longer stand i try ... unconvincing, you lay me down and whisper sweet words of love and trust just waiting for me to calm enough to sleep as my body feels its need to slip away, you gently stitch me up and nurse me to health, hardly able to stand you hold my neck and smack me across the face, reminding me i am not to become the thing you love, i am not to become the thing you need. i am only hear to fulfill your wishes, which i am doing poorly. eager to stay silent, i put bread into my mouth, choking on it as i try to swallow and not tear up...
never to be good enough
for the unrealistic goals you've set
can you dance the rhythm set for a flag
can you fall against the glass
not feeling the shards break your skin
here i am slipping once again
well fuck you and all you have to say
i don't need to remember the words
or even your ways
i have learned once before this is how you'll stay
tricking me in to peaceful thoughts
then reminding me of horrible pains
i can stand amidst the broken skies
and i can rise higher than any star
so fuck you and yours truly
id rather bury my own grave than do this one more time.
i feel as though you've taken my toes and put a hammer to each of them, gently caressing my freshly shaven legs and smiling that condescending smile through your deadly eyes, tracing your knife up and down until every ligament has been tore muscle hanging out of my stripped legs, tears falling and i beg you I'll try harder, to do better, knowing i can no longer stand i try ... unconvincing, you lay me down and whisper sweet words of love and trust just waiting for me to calm enough to sleep as my body feels its need to slip away, you gently stitch me up and nurse me to health, hardly able to stand you hold my neck and smack me across the face, reminding me i am not to become the thing you love, i am not to become the thing you need. i am only hear to fulfill your wishes, which i am doing poorly. eager to stay silent, i put bread into my mouth, choking on it as i try to swallow and not tear up...
never to be good enough
for the unrealistic goals you've set
can you dance the rhythm set for a flag
can you fall against the glass
not feeling the shards break your skin
here i am slipping once again
well fuck you and all you have to say
i don't need to remember the words
or even your ways
i have learned once before this is how you'll stay
tricking me in to peaceful thoughts
then reminding me of horrible pains
i can stand amidst the broken skies
and i can rise higher than any star
so fuck you and yours truly
id rather bury my own grave than do this one more time.
the flowers are soft and itchy. just the way they have always been when i lay upon them. your hand is a great distance i cannot reach. i am shy of it. fearful. to let you take my whole self. who can be so magical to conjure up a spell to cast upon this broken heart that could possibly faint my pain long enough to make me smile for a whole day long.
no words stand in place for the feelings i have
no amount of tears can cry them
no amount of blood can forgive them
on my knees again face flush against dirt
rain upon me the winds of earth
remind me why i must live again
you cannot take away the bridge that has burnt
you cannot forget the moments that still has hurt
to dance with you now is like to fall with you then
i vowed a simple promise to never do that again
on my knees mud forms around my face
i am ready to say my goodbyes
let the eagle carry my sorrows
so i may be free to rejoice in death what was taken from me in life
no amount of tears can cry them
no amount of blood can forgive them
on my knees again face flush against dirt
rain upon me the winds of earth
remind me why i must live again
you cannot take away the bridge that has burnt
you cannot forget the moments that still has hurt
to dance with you now is like to fall with you then
i vowed a simple promise to never do that again
on my knees mud forms around my face
i am ready to say my goodbyes
let the eagle carry my sorrows
so i may be free to rejoice in death what was taken from me in life
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
hjkfhjkdsH;KK
and he says im not alone
im always here he whispers
through the phone
so close he can taste my tears
so close he can feel my fears
and he says hun youre not alone
im standing 100 miles away
and ill be there before the end of day
find the closest pillow and scream into it
scream and when it no longer can be hid
do what the older generation did
make peace with nature let your tears
becomes lifes years
screaming into the skies
someone will hear you and theyll know
theyll know they are not alone
and hun, youre not alone
im always here he whispers
through the phone
so close he can taste my tears
so close he can feel my fears
and he says hun youre not alone
im standing 100 miles away
and ill be there before the end of day
find the closest pillow and scream into it
scream and when it no longer can be hid
do what the older generation did
make peace with nature let your tears
becomes lifes years
screaming into the skies
someone will hear you and theyll know
theyll know they are not alone
and hun, youre not alone
really.
and i cant feel my own heartbeat anymore
i am really living in this mess
i am breaking down so i can stand up again
numbness ripping through me like a knife
i cant feel, blood dripping
and i cant feel my own heartbeat anymore
looking into the depths of blues
transparent clouds drift by
people walking all around
will anyone notice this smile is fake
such a beautiful taste in my mouth
copper and smell of gasoline
and i cant feel my own heartbeat anymore
im breaking down
so i can stand up again
STAND AGAIN
STAND AGAIN
repeat this cycle repeat this cycle
its no fucking way to live
im standing up again
i am really living in this mess
i am breaking down so i can stand up again
numbness ripping through me like a knife
i cant feel, blood dripping
and i cant feel my own heartbeat anymore
looking into the depths of blues
transparent clouds drift by
people walking all around
will anyone notice this smile is fake
such a beautiful taste in my mouth
copper and smell of gasoline
and i cant feel my own heartbeat anymore
im breaking down
so i can stand up again
STAND AGAIN
STAND AGAIN
repeat this cycle repeat this cycle
its no fucking way to live
im standing up again
he said theres so much more than the eye can see
when i look at you i see confidence and beauty
when we speak i hear laughter, insane happiness
and when i took the time to know you
i found this incredibly destructed lady
staring into the mirror hating herself
trying on different of combinations of clothes
to never be satisfied with herself
when i look at you i see confidence and beauty
when we speak i hear laughter, insane happiness
and when i took the time to know you
i found this incredibly destructed lady
staring into the mirror hating herself
trying on different of combinations of clothes
to never be satisfied with herself
shhhiiiiiiiiiiit.
screaming tears
watch them fall
burn
burn
watch me burn!
here i go
falling to your brittle grace
lifeless beauty
such a breath
wasted!
stop my beating heart again
im diminishing away
diminishing
dont bother looking for me
im already gone
stop my beating heart again
im diminishing away
diminishing
BREATH!! Tears! Bloodshed!
break.
watch them fall
as i break away
into the nothingness you said i was
GONE
GONE
GONE
from you.
watch them fall
burn
burn
watch me burn!
here i go
falling to your brittle grace
lifeless beauty
such a breath
wasted!
stop my beating heart again
im diminishing away
diminishing
dont bother looking for me
im already gone
stop my beating heart again
im diminishing away
diminishing
BREATH!! Tears! Bloodshed!
break.
watch them fall
as i break away
into the nothingness you said i was
GONE
GONE
GONE
from you.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
honestly.
some people say forever. what if where you are is great and fine...but forever later becomes a nightmare, and even if you escape, seemingly unharmed, the forever that was is now the forever that is, is etched into your memory...screen-playing through your mind. no amount of pills, or drs can can erase the thoughts that make you happy and the ones that followed to bring you down.
the thing that builds you up, can be the very thing that destroys you.
the thing that builds you up, can be the very thing that destroys you.
garba garba gurgle slough.
black lights falling
storm clouds low
wind shifting eagerly
angry eyes glow
hiding inside doors
shadows passing by
turn of fate
hearing deaths cry
///
where were you when i needed you
when i was all alone
where were you when i could not speak
when my voice lost all its tone
where were you when i layed there
unable to even move
when my mind was shouting fearfully
i needed you to soothe
where were you when he hit me
straight across my face
where were you when i struggled to stand ground, find my place
where were you when i whispered
with everything i had
that i was hurting now alone
incredibly torn beyond words sad
where were you when he took me
to that room there
when he ripped off what he needed
and removed my underwear
where were you when i heard
everyone else sing and laugh
as he penetrated deep inside
i felt my soul gasp
where were you when i needed you
i couldnt make a sound
where were you when i washed the blood
from which my whole mind drowns
where were you when i called you
and you didnt pick up the phone
where were you when i went to the hospital
scared to death and all alone
where were you when i looked high in to the sky
hoping for just a symbol
of someone i could trust nearby
where were you when they told me
the news of what i had
where were you when i hung my myself
because i had grown mad
where were you when they read the note
the painful one that read
"dear, i loved you endlessly
but alive I now feel dead
trembling everytime i see
a person look my way
wondering what they are thinking
or what they may possibly say
i told you i was dying
but you didn't seem to care
you never asked what was going on
even though i tried to share
everytime i mentioned what happened to me that night
you seemed to change the subject
or get a call that just seemed right
im not leaving because you left me
im going because i know
that living here is my suicide
and dying will make me whole"
i still can't help but question
what went wrong
you said we'd stay together
and together we'd be strong
but you left me at that party
and you drove away
you left me and my new problems
in my head they stay
it's not your fault it happened
i hoped you would help me through
you were the only person
i ever told my secrets to
////
///\\\
i like to dance. i like to play. i like to sing. my face away. i like to walk. i like to move. i like to live. i like to soothe. i like to listen. i like to care. i like to be. i like to share. i like to motivate. i like to learn. i like peace. i like to yearn. i like children. i like how they play. i like their coy, in what they say. i like the sun. i like the air. i like the wind. i like to stare. i like the morning. i like the night. i like the rhythm in which we fight. i like the color on the walls. i like the stores within the malls. i like the sidewalk. i like the grass. i like the feeling of when we crash. i like together, i live apart. i like forever, fake in my heart. i like your hand. i like your skin. i like your soft whole, rough edges within. i like you smile. i like your face. i like your words, how you put me in my place. i like your now. i like your then. i like your happiness. i like your sin. i like your legs. i like your feet. i like your inspirational up-tone beat. i like your difference. i like your cure. i like the way your intentions seem pure. i like your moments. spent with me. i like your eyes, i like the sea. i like the depth. i like the fall. i like the howling wind as it calls. i like the like. i like the hate. i like all the things that make. i like the truth. i like the hurt. i like the living, inside this shirt. i like the explosions in the air, blasts of fire in the sky everywhere. i like the you i see in me. i like the way even apart you make me happy.
///
so much is happening inside my head
so many questions
still unsaid
storm clouds low
wind shifting eagerly
angry eyes glow
hiding inside doors
shadows passing by
turn of fate
hearing deaths cry
///
where were you when i needed you
when i was all alone
where were you when i could not speak
when my voice lost all its tone
where were you when i layed there
unable to even move
when my mind was shouting fearfully
i needed you to soothe
where were you when he hit me
straight across my face
where were you when i struggled to stand ground, find my place
where were you when i whispered
with everything i had
that i was hurting now alone
incredibly torn beyond words sad
where were you when he took me
to that room there
when he ripped off what he needed
and removed my underwear
where were you when i heard
everyone else sing and laugh
as he penetrated deep inside
i felt my soul gasp
where were you when i needed you
i couldnt make a sound
where were you when i washed the blood
from which my whole mind drowns
where were you when i called you
and you didnt pick up the phone
where were you when i went to the hospital
scared to death and all alone
where were you when i looked high in to the sky
hoping for just a symbol
of someone i could trust nearby
where were you when they told me
the news of what i had
where were you when i hung my myself
because i had grown mad
where were you when they read the note
the painful one that read
"dear, i loved you endlessly
but alive I now feel dead
trembling everytime i see
a person look my way
wondering what they are thinking
or what they may possibly say
i told you i was dying
but you didn't seem to care
you never asked what was going on
even though i tried to share
everytime i mentioned what happened to me that night
you seemed to change the subject
or get a call that just seemed right
im not leaving because you left me
im going because i know
that living here is my suicide
and dying will make me whole"
i still can't help but question
what went wrong
you said we'd stay together
and together we'd be strong
but you left me at that party
and you drove away
you left me and my new problems
in my head they stay
it's not your fault it happened
i hoped you would help me through
you were the only person
i ever told my secrets to
////
///\\\
i like to dance. i like to play. i like to sing. my face away. i like to walk. i like to move. i like to live. i like to soothe. i like to listen. i like to care. i like to be. i like to share. i like to motivate. i like to learn. i like peace. i like to yearn. i like children. i like how they play. i like their coy, in what they say. i like the sun. i like the air. i like the wind. i like to stare. i like the morning. i like the night. i like the rhythm in which we fight. i like the color on the walls. i like the stores within the malls. i like the sidewalk. i like the grass. i like the feeling of when we crash. i like together, i live apart. i like forever, fake in my heart. i like your hand. i like your skin. i like your soft whole, rough edges within. i like you smile. i like your face. i like your words, how you put me in my place. i like your now. i like your then. i like your happiness. i like your sin. i like your legs. i like your feet. i like your inspirational up-tone beat. i like your difference. i like your cure. i like the way your intentions seem pure. i like your moments. spent with me. i like your eyes, i like the sea. i like the depth. i like the fall. i like the howling wind as it calls. i like the like. i like the hate. i like all the things that make. i like the truth. i like the hurt. i like the living, inside this shirt. i like the explosions in the air, blasts of fire in the sky everywhere. i like the you i see in me. i like the way even apart you make me happy.
///
so much is happening inside my head
so many questions
still unsaid
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
..///..//../
somewhere i see you
not with my eyes
but i see you with feelings
intense beyond surprise
they are all memories. silly little things that for whatever
reason, I do not want to let go of. Maybe it's simply because I don't want to be a "quitter"....maybe it's because I cherished every moment we ever spent together; even the ones I tried to blow you off...
you asked for proof and the only proof I have is that I can't do it.
I guess it isn't quitting if you never try.
I think I'd rather be a quitter, than never know.
i took this pic outside my house. sometimes when starring upward i think...how long did it take that tree to grow so high, to branch out so far, and to slowly break away as it molds into something new. i love trees. i love the symbolism I can find in them.. the security they offer... and like life, how easily they can be taken away.
you'd never know.
thoughts of you may metaphorically break my heart, tear me down, & push all the tears I'm holding in to the surface... but I'm still standing, walking, running, HAVING FAITH. I'm strong. I'm blessed.
And no matter how I cry, I am blessed.
No matter how I hurt, I AM GRATEFUL.
No matter how little sleep, I still wake each day.
I have something to live for, even when NOONE ELSE CAN SEE IT, I CAN.
and I love .. I love so much...
that's all I have to say.
..... idk.
can you whisper me this moment
gentle secret in my ear
tell me all the things you hold so close
the things you consider dear
squeeze me oh so tightly before you turn away
look me deadset in my eyes
tell me so honestly that you do not wish to stay
if i crumble right there in your grasp
perhaps that's fine with me
your touch will have been my last
a final epiphany
...
your eyes are my time tunnel
taking me where i wish to go
deep inside your mind
swallowed by your soul
...
gentle secret in my ear
tell me all the things you hold so close
the things you consider dear
squeeze me oh so tightly before you turn away
look me deadset in my eyes
tell me so honestly that you do not wish to stay
if i crumble right there in your grasp
perhaps that's fine with me
your touch will have been my last
a final epiphany
...
your eyes are my time tunnel
taking me where i wish to go
deep inside your mind
swallowed by your soul
...
it happens.
they fall against my shattered face
like rain against the glass
rushing on the windshield
like a starving religious mass
awaiting here i am for you
lightning from the skies
wipers can not wipe away
the sadness in my eyes
churning in my body
like a whirlwind of soap
trying to cleanse every living piece
of barely shimmering hope
drowning in your smiles
memories of when we walked away
fire melting what was left of me
all I needed was us to stay
like rain against the glass
rushing on the windshield
like a starving religious mass
awaiting here i am for you
lightning from the skies
wipers can not wipe away
the sadness in my eyes
churning in my body
like a whirlwind of soap
trying to cleanse every living piece
of barely shimmering hope
drowning in your smiles
memories of when we walked away
fire melting what was left of me
all I needed was us to stay
Friday, April 15, 2011
12.
the earth is my tonight good morning and morrow
cant wait to grasp the softness of your hand
fingers tracing my side
you are bright like the gleaming headlights coming toward me
pushing forward in this rain
thoughts of you are safe like fireworks
exploding in the sky as men run away
to watch and cheer as families ooo and awee away
clapping hands, i cheer for your everything
cool and dewy damp, fresh like autumn leaves fallen
grass is green and brown, growing from this mud
sand warm as it strains out my hands
warm sun, cool breeze, wind blowing through the trees
dust glistens in the sky, singing sweet dreams into lullabies
you are my tonight, good morning and morrow
to put you into words
to replicate some way i feel
seems absurd
to think what has came has gone
you are always a gentle song
i feel you in every pulse
knowing youre really not around at all
i feel for you.
cant wait to grasp the softness of your hand
fingers tracing my side
you are bright like the gleaming headlights coming toward me
pushing forward in this rain
thoughts of you are safe like fireworks
exploding in the sky as men run away
to watch and cheer as families ooo and awee away
clapping hands, i cheer for your everything
cool and dewy damp, fresh like autumn leaves fallen
grass is green and brown, growing from this mud
sand warm as it strains out my hands
warm sun, cool breeze, wind blowing through the trees
dust glistens in the sky, singing sweet dreams into lullabies
you are my tonight, good morning and morrow
to put you into words
to replicate some way i feel
seems absurd
to think what has came has gone
you are always a gentle song
i feel you in every pulse
knowing youre really not around at all
i feel for you.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
miss you.
you know who are to make me like this
crazy inside- tight as a fist
Bubbling boiling, excitement to roar
I feel you becoming whom I cant help but adore
Tickling, taunting, tracing my mind
Building foundations of rocks to climb
Jumping and whirling around in my head
You are the thoughts that I have said
Dancing and screaming, twisting about
Music is blaring, There is No doubt
Letters once jumbled are coming undone
places are put, it has begun
I'll hold your hand snugly into my own
Tuck a kiss inside where its light can be shown
You know who you are to make me like this
The only man, of whom I miss.
crazy inside- tight as a fist
Bubbling boiling, excitement to roar
I feel you becoming whom I cant help but adore
Tickling, taunting, tracing my mind
Building foundations of rocks to climb
Jumping and whirling around in my head
You are the thoughts that I have said
Dancing and screaming, twisting about
Music is blaring, There is No doubt
Letters once jumbled are coming undone
places are put, it has begun
I'll hold your hand snugly into my own
Tuck a kiss inside where its light can be shown
You know who you are to make me like this
The only man, of whom I miss.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
11. 12.
if i could tuck you in so gently
press my mouth against your face
feel your hair in my fingers
or let your breath begin to trace
all the little moments that are special in my head
i would pray that they would lead me
right back into your bed
i could cuddle near against you
pause to hear your heart beat
the rhythm of blood flowing
is a magical science like a soft rock beat
little bits of butterflies would dance around my head
as they fluttered all throughout me
because i would be laying near you in your bed
.....///.....////
i would take you in a corner
i would put you in your place
i would press my lips against yours
i would caress my hand against your face
i would attempt to whisper closely
i would fail and giggle instead
i would look into your gorgeous eyes
i would see what i can never meet and look away
i would honor and love
I would always and forever stay
but deep down inside of me
you are surrounding my every thought
you overwhelming my ideas and energies
becoming the majority of all i want
that is why im turning, this corner that i must take
that is why i am lonesome
why i must forsake
every little moment, the few as they may be
i feel like i know you
i feel like you know me.
press my mouth against your face
feel your hair in my fingers
or let your breath begin to trace
all the little moments that are special in my head
i would pray that they would lead me
right back into your bed
i could cuddle near against you
pause to hear your heart beat
the rhythm of blood flowing
is a magical science like a soft rock beat
little bits of butterflies would dance around my head
as they fluttered all throughout me
because i would be laying near you in your bed
.....///.....////
i would take you in a corner
i would put you in your place
i would press my lips against yours
i would caress my hand against your face
i would attempt to whisper closely
i would fail and giggle instead
i would look into your gorgeous eyes
i would see what i can never meet and look away
i would honor and love
I would always and forever stay
but deep down inside of me
you are surrounding my every thought
you overwhelming my ideas and energies
becoming the majority of all i want
that is why im turning, this corner that i must take
that is why i am lonesome
why i must forsake
every little moment, the few as they may be
i feel like i know you
i feel like you know me.
Friday, April 8, 2011
dabbling words going nowhere
i wont drop this conclusion
the way you dropped it on me
i wont move past
this bright heartache
head screaming memories
blasting like jets through my mind
orgasms decline
just stop walking away
every-time you leave
Come back come back home
i cannot start to say the whispers
pulsing through my blood
don't go don't go
this conclusion hides in you
effortless reasons
betraying yourself to let go of me wont make this any better
run run run run
come back come back home
i need you more than ever
come back home
dark dimples shown in the twisted sky
i wont say goodbye i wont say goodnight
i run farther faster harder
see me struggling through every step
tread burning into the ground
tracks that never let me down
here i am
running again for you
come true come true
i am here where are you
where are you
i am here for you
where the hell are you
why cant you just be around
i want to hold you
but when i grasp your smile you slip away
running running running
dirt becomes mud contorting little rocks become large stones
come true come true
i just need you.
where i go i do not ever see you
i am trying hard
to never ever ever let you go
i i i
here i am again
waiting on you
don't you see me, what i do
i am here for you
i am here i am here
i want to kiss your sexy face
hold you tightly
sun goes down earth twisting round and round
baby baby be the tilt to my axle
i wont let you down
bright as light you are my fire
start the engine
burn it up i'll make it brighter
throw the fuel to make it warmer
bodies closer closer closer
i will take you to the outer atmosphere
you are the earth heavens and water
ive got ten thousand smiles for every single 80 miles.
i wont say i love you but i can't say i don't.
in the idea of you i feel home.
the way you dropped it on me
i wont move past
this bright heartache
head screaming memories
blasting like jets through my mind
orgasms decline
just stop walking away
every-time you leave
Come back come back home
i cannot start to say the whispers
pulsing through my blood
don't go don't go
this conclusion hides in you
effortless reasons
betraying yourself to let go of me wont make this any better
run run run run
come back come back home
i need you more than ever
come back home
dark dimples shown in the twisted sky
i wont say goodbye i wont say goodnight
i run farther faster harder
see me struggling through every step
tread burning into the ground
tracks that never let me down
here i am
running again for you
come true come true
i am here where are you
where are you
i am here for you
where the hell are you
why cant you just be around
i want to hold you
but when i grasp your smile you slip away
running running running
dirt becomes mud contorting little rocks become large stones
come true come true
i just need you.
where i go i do not ever see you
i am trying hard
to never ever ever let you go
i i i
here i am again
waiting on you
don't you see me, what i do
i am here for you
i am here i am here
i want to kiss your sexy face
hold you tightly
sun goes down earth twisting round and round
baby baby be the tilt to my axle
i wont let you down
bright as light you are my fire
start the engine
burn it up i'll make it brighter
throw the fuel to make it warmer
bodies closer closer closer
i will take you to the outer atmosphere
you are the earth heavens and water
ive got ten thousand smiles for every single 80 miles.
i wont say i love you but i can't say i don't.
in the idea of you i feel home.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
.10
brilliant burning brightly
red orange gray
i will be your child
if you will guide my way
rising in the east
i stand to see your call
setting in the west
at this time my head will fall
dancing in the shadows
my mind begins to sleep
for when i rise in the morning
my eyes shall surely weep
dreams are everlasting
against the silver moon
dining in the shadows
sharing the same spoon
sipping from the effervescent light
that seems to glow
i am happiest in the shadows
this is what i know
your brilliance overwhelms me
red running through
burning in my body
building passionately is you
orange skies colliding
into massive waves of gray
i wished upon you to be your child
yet you whispered me away
red orange gray
i will be your child
if you will guide my way
rising in the east
i stand to see your call
setting in the west
at this time my head will fall
dancing in the shadows
my mind begins to sleep
for when i rise in the morning
my eyes shall surely weep
dreams are everlasting
against the silver moon
dining in the shadows
sharing the same spoon
sipping from the effervescent light
that seems to glow
i am happiest in the shadows
this is what i know
your brilliance overwhelms me
red running through
burning in my body
building passionately is you
orange skies colliding
into massive waves of gray
i wished upon you to be your child
yet you whispered me away
Thursday, March 31, 2011
.9
your tongue twists violently, silently
hiding thoughts
will you regret those thoughts
the ones you never said
look at the brilliance in the twilight
moments left for dead
days without a hello
nights that forget goodbyes
all these simple things in passing
will fall and surely die
beautiful soft skin
gorgeous eyes gripping tight
like an angel fallen from Heaven
your glory, you won't let go
your face is peaceful, lovingly
your soul is built of gold
weighing down your heavy heart
caring only of yourself
will you regret those thoughts
the things you did not say
will you regret the moments
that have pushed me away
hiding thoughts
will you regret those thoughts
the ones you never said
look at the brilliance in the twilight
moments left for dead
days without a hello
nights that forget goodbyes
all these simple things in passing
will fall and surely die
beautiful soft skin
gorgeous eyes gripping tight
like an angel fallen from Heaven
your glory, you won't let go
your face is peaceful, lovingly
your soul is built of gold
weighing down your heavy heart
caring only of yourself
will you regret those thoughts
the things you did not say
will you regret the moments
that have pushed me away
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Known
oh how they glisten
as they fall from the sky
depths of pure moments
all passing by
moments encased in lockets
to be wore 'round my neck
ill never let go nor ever forget
symptoms of heartache
eyes born to laugh
crying tears streaming
as they now mow their path
wondering aimlessly where i may be
my whole me is searching
for what i already see
as they fall from the sky
depths of pure moments
all passing by
moments encased in lockets
to be wore 'round my neck
ill never let go nor ever forget
symptoms of heartache
eyes born to laugh
crying tears streaming
as they now mow their path
wondering aimlessly where i may be
my whole me is searching
for what i already see
Sunday, March 6, 2011
rambling.
Follow you, around my head, within these thoughts Im tracing
All your ties, that could hold you back
I wont stop you from making
in this world, we stand alone
i stand by your side
Knowing Youll find your home
Follow you, around my head, within these thoughts Im tracing
Your elegant smile
that brightens my day, washes my fears, all away
In this world I see you so tall
towering far above it all
there you are to follow through
this in which I need you
Follow you, in my head, within these thoughts Im tracing
Here I stand, right by your side
Praying your journey is safe
All your ties, that could hold you back
I wont stop you from making
in this world, we stand alone
i stand by your side
Knowing Youll find your home
Follow you, around my head, within these thoughts Im tracing
Your elegant smile
that brightens my day, washes my fears, all away
In this world I see you so tall
towering far above it all
there you are to follow through
this in which I need you
Follow you, in my head, within these thoughts Im tracing
Here I stand, right by your side
Praying your journey is safe
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
.8
This bearing of pain
Murders the life I saw
So close in the mirror
Your hand, it felt
So real
I feel your heart
Beating normally
Mine is racing to yours
Racing to yours
Bearing this pain
Life I saw in the mirror
Murdered.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Papaw
you held my hand when I was small
painted pictures with words
as i grew tall
you made me smile, clap and cheer
you wiped my tears all while lifting my fears
taking me beneath your arm
you sheltered me from others harm
you kissed my face and loved my soul
you made me have this heart i stole
you danced with me when no-one else would
you showed me love like no-one else could
you sat me out upon that tree
you held my face and have stayed with me
you made a promise sure to keep
that you would punish any man who ever laid a hand on me
i love you more than any other
more than a grandpa you are my minds father
i am here to keep you safe
to absorb your hurt and clear your pain
i am here to talk and cheer
to dance and laugh and hold you near
i am here to never leave
because i know for sure
you will always do these things for me.
i love you. you're the most strong and diligent man i know.
painted pictures with words
as i grew tall
you made me smile, clap and cheer
you wiped my tears all while lifting my fears
taking me beneath your arm
you sheltered me from others harm
you kissed my face and loved my soul
you made me have this heart i stole
you danced with me when no-one else would
you showed me love like no-one else could
you sat me out upon that tree
you held my face and have stayed with me
you made a promise sure to keep
that you would punish any man who ever laid a hand on me
i love you more than any other
more than a grandpa you are my minds father
i am here to keep you safe
to absorb your hurt and clear your pain
i am here to talk and cheer
to dance and laugh and hold you near
i am here to never leave
because i know for sure
you will always do these things for me.
i love you. you're the most strong and diligent man i know.
.7 More Respectively; My Children.
oxygen, water
warmth of the sun
the breeze as it whistles
the night as it comes
slow down to focus
pay attention to see
the depths of pure sight
strength within me
they cry and the hollar
their voices, they scream
they laugh and they whisper
tell secrets and sing
they play and they argue
blow whistles and fight
they are all that I love
with all of my might
warmth of the sun
the breeze as it whistles
the night as it comes
slow down to focus
pay attention to see
the depths of pure sight
strength within me
they cry and the hollar
their voices, they scream
they laugh and they whisper
tell secrets and sing
they play and they argue
blow whistles and fight
they are all that I love
with all of my might
Monday, January 17, 2011
.5.6.7
inside you are with me
never lost
you always guide my way
crying i am alone
your grip tightens
see the sun you cry
I look to witness the sun is hiding
you are the rays that gently
beat my chest
my face is warmed by your hands
invisible touch
feel me feel me crying
tears are not the answer
writing words that never seem to form
singing at the top of my lungs
on my knees i cannot say
any louder
hear me always
you are with me
you are with me
im never letting go.
tiny granules twisting beneath our feet
grays and blues rushing by
our sky is the Heaven we see in each other
our life is one
laying down to feel the warmth
salty pebbles dance around our bodies
world spinning, time spent the way it should
our bodies against one another
safety, love, comfort, truths
we are one.
coarse tipped brush
thick cool paints
smeared across my naked body
pushed onto the easel
our soft lips touch
forming magical moments in my mind
fingertips tracing over my ribcage
goosebumps rising...chills..you
stare into my soul
right through me you see the pain
beneath where the beauty is hiding
hand gripping my wrist, other holding my face
"I love you" escapes your breath
inhaling you I feel life become Awake
face finding my neck, eyes exploring every crevice
tip of tongue running up and down me
leaving gentle kisses behind
your hand leaves my face but my eyes follow
watching as you caress me, taking each breast
one at a time
into your hand, circling with your tongue slowly
gently kissing each nipple
staring briefly into my eyes
"come here" pulling me up toward you
reuniting our lips as though we had never felt each others embrace
twisting upon the canvas we are a tangled mess of beauty
colors dance off our bodies leaving our imprints
we stand, as art of our passion has been left
taking steps slowly hands holding hands
under my skin lies you
through my eyes, you are my vision
waking I feel your arms wrapping around me
your smile brightening the dim lit room
remembering youre physically not here
pulse slowing, body shivering cold
mirror tells lies, your figure fades
i feel you in me, i need you with me
i need you like a coarse tipped brush craves its thick cool paints
without you the canvas stands blank
never lost
you always guide my way
crying i am alone
your grip tightens
see the sun you cry
I look to witness the sun is hiding
you are the rays that gently
beat my chest
my face is warmed by your hands
invisible touch
feel me feel me crying
tears are not the answer
writing words that never seem to form
singing at the top of my lungs
on my knees i cannot say
any louder
hear me always
you are with me
you are with me
im never letting go.
tiny granules twisting beneath our feet
grays and blues rushing by
our sky is the Heaven we see in each other
our life is one
laying down to feel the warmth
salty pebbles dance around our bodies
world spinning, time spent the way it should
our bodies against one another
safety, love, comfort, truths
we are one.
coarse tipped brush
thick cool paints
smeared across my naked body
pushed onto the easel
our soft lips touch
forming magical moments in my mind
fingertips tracing over my ribcage
goosebumps rising...chills..you
stare into my soul
right through me you see the pain
beneath where the beauty is hiding
hand gripping my wrist, other holding my face
"I love you" escapes your breath
inhaling you I feel life become Awake
face finding my neck, eyes exploring every crevice
tip of tongue running up and down me
leaving gentle kisses behind
your hand leaves my face but my eyes follow
watching as you caress me, taking each breast
one at a time
into your hand, circling with your tongue slowly
gently kissing each nipple
staring briefly into my eyes
"come here" pulling me up toward you
reuniting our lips as though we had never felt each others embrace
twisting upon the canvas we are a tangled mess of beauty
colors dance off our bodies leaving our imprints
we stand, as art of our passion has been left
taking steps slowly hands holding hands
under my skin lies you
through my eyes, you are my vision
waking I feel your arms wrapping around me
your smile brightening the dim lit room
remembering youre physically not here
pulse slowing, body shivering cold
mirror tells lies, your figure fades
i feel you in me, i need you with me
i need you like a coarse tipped brush craves its thick cool paints
without you the canvas stands blank
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
..
Not all days are those pleasant ones, you know, where you just wake up ready to go and securely happy. Just happy.
Some days take time, the thought process. Sometimes it takes standing and saying to yourself, you are worth it; and then furthermore convincing yourself.
1. I have two blessed gifts from Father Surrounding, to care for, to assist in guidance, to love and nurture, to be here for, to love unconditionally, to never let down. (This is the reason I can Never Die. No-one else is good enough to raise my children! ;]] )
2. I am young still...I have a lot to learn, a lot to live (maybe).
3. I still have 5lbs to lose (fat) and 10lbs to gain (muscle). That's worth living for, right? It definitely make me smile in the end? ;)
4. Every obstacle and disappointment, is not something to be let down about, it's rather something to push you harder, a challenge; THAT I WILL CONQUER.
5. Someone has to make breakfast.
So.... Being Positive is the thing to do. Because, If I am not positive for myself, I cannot expect better results.
Then again, If I don't initiate and stick to the change I choose, I am wasting away.
I am tired of living for what is right... I want to live for what is not right for everyone else, even those I love the most, even more than myself.... I want to live for my happiness.
....one day, maybe I will.
Some days take time, the thought process. Sometimes it takes standing and saying to yourself, you are worth it; and then furthermore convincing yourself.
1. I have two blessed gifts from Father Surrounding, to care for, to assist in guidance, to love and nurture, to be here for, to love unconditionally, to never let down. (This is the reason I can Never Die. No-one else is good enough to raise my children! ;]] )
2. I am young still...I have a lot to learn, a lot to live (maybe).
3. I still have 5lbs to lose (fat) and 10lbs to gain (muscle). That's worth living for, right? It definitely make me smile in the end? ;)
4. Every obstacle and disappointment, is not something to be let down about, it's rather something to push you harder, a challenge; THAT I WILL CONQUER.
5. Someone has to make breakfast.
So.... Being Positive is the thing to do. Because, If I am not positive for myself, I cannot expect better results.
Then again, If I don't initiate and stick to the change I choose, I am wasting away.
I am tired of living for what is right... I want to live for what is not right for everyone else, even those I love the most, even more than myself.... I want to live for my happiness.
....one day, maybe I will.
.4
churning inside, tangled little knot
pulling tighter, cant be undone
hearts break everyday
how is this any different
pain screaming in one even flow
how is this any different
i feel it here and there
subconsciously
awakening from the most beautiful dreams
alone, without you
how is this any different
screaming and crying is no resolution
hiding in the blankets writing
twisted little thoughts
messages stored and never sent
ideas playing theatrical roles
never leaving the depth of my mind
how is this any different
i love you
listen please
i just cant seem to gather these words
falling inside the pit of gravity
if i sing it to the heavens and it falls to the hells
please hear me somehow
how is this any different
than the broken heart anyone else feels.
just come close, so I may whisper
I love you, this one last time
and trust that for all eternity, I will.
pulling tighter, cant be undone
hearts break everyday
how is this any different
pain screaming in one even flow
how is this any different
i feel it here and there
subconsciously
awakening from the most beautiful dreams
alone, without you
how is this any different
screaming and crying is no resolution
hiding in the blankets writing
twisted little thoughts
messages stored and never sent
ideas playing theatrical roles
never leaving the depth of my mind
how is this any different
i love you
listen please
i just cant seem to gather these words
falling inside the pit of gravity
if i sing it to the heavens and it falls to the hells
please hear me somehow
how is this any different
than the broken heart anyone else feels.
just come close, so I may whisper
I love you, this one last time
and trust that for all eternity, I will.
Monday, January 10, 2011
.3
You are my Earth round, ground crumbling beneath my feet
Rain from Heaven forming mud, squishing between my toes
You give me strength, helping Angels hear my prayers
Our songs reach the Skies, Oceans rumbling in rejoice
Your tight grasp upon me, nurturing all the love I need
Beautiful eyes stare deeply into my mind, granting me the peace I wish for
Intoxicating the touch I long for; you have given up all selfishness
These moments will last, and forever is never ending
The days will become nights, and you are never ending
Our interlocking fingers give purpose, and not even Death will do us Part.
Rain from Heaven forming mud, squishing between my toes
You give me strength, helping Angels hear my prayers
Our songs reach the Skies, Oceans rumbling in rejoice
Your tight grasp upon me, nurturing all the love I need
Beautiful eyes stare deeply into my mind, granting me the peace I wish for
Intoxicating the touch I long for; you have given up all selfishness
These moments will last, and forever is never ending
The days will become nights, and you are never ending
Our interlocking fingers give purpose, and not even Death will do us Part.
.2
How Do You Know
The Earth is Round
The ground crumbles beneath your feet
The rain makes mud
How do you know
The Angels hear your prayers
The Songs reach the Skies
The Oceans water rumbles
How do you Know
The tight grasp upon you
The deep stare into your soul
The touch you long for
How do you know
The love you crave
The nights you wish for
The selfishness you give up
How do you know
The moments will last
The days will become nights
The interlocking fingers give purpose
How do you know
That forever is never ending
That You are never ending
That death will not do us part
How do you know
My love isnt so pure
My blood isnt so kind
My voice isnt so shakey
How do you know
The seed will sprout.
Are you willing to give it water, sun, shade?
If we share this, I need nothing else
How do I know?
You.
The Earth is Round
The ground crumbles beneath your feet
The rain makes mud
How do you know
The Angels hear your prayers
The Songs reach the Skies
The Oceans water rumbles
How do you Know
The tight grasp upon you
The deep stare into your soul
The touch you long for
How do you know
The love you crave
The nights you wish for
The selfishness you give up
How do you know
The moments will last
The days will become nights
The interlocking fingers give purpose
How do you know
That forever is never ending
That You are never ending
That death will not do us part
How do you know
My love isnt so pure
My blood isnt so kind
My voice isnt so shakey
How do you know
The seed will sprout.
Are you willing to give it water, sun, shade?
If we share this, I need nothing else
How do I know?
You.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
.1
dancing ever slow
i feel your heart
in my arms
i wont let go
i feel you becoming me
everytime i look away
my mind draws back memories
i choose to stay
in this playground
where we lay
clouds forming animals
jets soaring by
reality hits earth
and i look back down
dancing ever slow
i feel your heart
in my arms
i feel your heart
in my arms
i wont let go
i feel you becoming me
everytime i look away
my mind draws back memories
i choose to stay
in this playground
where we lay
clouds forming animals
jets soaring by
reality hits earth
and i look back down
dancing ever slow
i feel your heart
in my arms
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