& you know its not the word to say.
i feel as though you've taken my toes and put a hammer to each of them, gently caressing my freshly shaven legs and smiling that condescending smile through your deadly eyes, tracing your knife up and down until every ligament has been tore muscle hanging out of my stripped legs, tears falling and i beg you I'll try harder, to do better, knowing i can no longer stand i try ... unconvincing, you lay me down and whisper sweet words of love and trust just waiting for me to calm enough to sleep as my body feels its need to slip away, you gently stitch me up and nurse me to health, hardly able to stand you hold my neck and smack me across the face, reminding me i am not to become the thing you love, i am not to become the thing you need. i am only hear to fulfill your wishes, which i am doing poorly. eager to stay silent, i put bread into my mouth, choking on it as i try to swallow and not tear up...
never to be good enough
for the unrealistic goals you've set
can you dance the rhythm set for a flag
can you fall against the glass
not feeling the shards break your skin
here i am slipping once again
well fuck you and all you have to say
i don't need to remember the words
or even your ways
i have learned once before this is how you'll stay
tricking me in to peaceful thoughts
then reminding me of horrible pains
i can stand amidst the broken skies
and i can rise higher than any star
so fuck you and yours truly
id rather bury my own grave than do this one more time.
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