garba garba gurgle slough.

black lights falling
storm clouds low
wind shifting eagerly
angry eyes glow
hiding inside doors
shadows passing by
turn of fate
hearing deaths cry

///


where were you when i needed you
when i was all alone
where were you when i could not speak
when my voice lost all its tone
where were you when i layed there
unable to even move
when my mind was shouting fearfully
i needed you to soothe
where were you when he hit me
straight across my face
where were you when i struggled to stand ground, find my place
where were you when i whispered
with everything i had
that i was hurting now alone
incredibly torn beyond words sad
where were you when he took me
to that room there
when he ripped off what he needed
and removed my underwear
where were you when i heard
everyone else sing and laugh
as he penetrated deep inside
i felt my soul gasp
where were you when i needed you
i couldnt make a sound
where were you when i washed the blood
from which my whole mind drowns
where were you when i called you
and you didnt pick up the phone
where were you when i went to the hospital
scared to death and all alone
where were you when i looked high in to the sky
hoping for just a symbol
of someone i could trust nearby
where were you when they told me
the news of what i had
where were you when i hung my myself
because i had grown mad
where were you when they read the note
the painful one that read
"dear, i loved you endlessly
but alive I now feel dead
trembling everytime i see
a person look my way
wondering what they are thinking
or what they may possibly say
i told you i was dying
but you didn't seem to care
you never asked what was going on
even though i tried to share
everytime i mentioned what happened to me that night
you seemed to change the subject
or get a call that just seemed right
im not leaving because you left me
im going because i know
that living here is my suicide
and dying will make me whole"
i still can't help but question
what went wrong
you said we'd stay together
and together we'd be strong
but you left me at that party
and you drove away
you left me and my new problems
in my head they stay
it's not your fault it happened
i hoped you would help me through
you were the only person
i ever told my secrets to

////


///\\\

i like to dance. i like to play. i like to sing. my face away. i like to walk. i like to move. i like to live. i like to soothe. i like to listen. i like to care. i like to be. i like to share. i like to motivate. i like to learn. i like peace. i like to yearn. i like children. i like how they play. i like their coy, in what they say. i like the sun. i like the air. i like the wind. i like to stare. i like the morning. i like the night. i like the rhythm in which we fight. i like the color on the walls. i like the stores within the malls. i like the sidewalk. i like the grass. i like the feeling of when we crash. i like together, i live apart. i like forever, fake in my heart. i like your hand. i like your skin. i like your soft whole, rough edges within. i like you smile. i like your face. i like your words, how you put me in my place. i like your now. i like your then. i like your happiness. i like your sin. i like your legs. i like your feet. i like your inspirational up-tone beat. i like your difference. i like your cure. i like the way your intentions seem pure. i like your moments. spent with me. i like your eyes, i like the sea. i like the depth. i like the fall. i like the howling wind as it calls. i like the like. i like the hate. i like all the things that make. i like the truth. i like the hurt. i like the living, inside this shirt. i like the explosions in the air, blasts of fire in the sky everywhere. i like the you i see in me. i like the way even apart you make me happy.

///

so much is happening inside my head
so many questions
still unsaid