thick
sinking
holding
you can not imagine
thick
sinking
holding
you can not dream
thick
holding
sinking
you cannot compare
thick
holding
sinking
you can not change me
stop trying.
Monday, July 18, 2011
when you can only think the word "FUCK"
& you know its not the word to say.
i feel as though you've taken my toes and put a hammer to each of them, gently caressing my freshly shaven legs and smiling that condescending smile through your deadly eyes, tracing your knife up and down until every ligament has been tore muscle hanging out of my stripped legs, tears falling and i beg you I'll try harder, to do better, knowing i can no longer stand i try ... unconvincing, you lay me down and whisper sweet words of love and trust just waiting for me to calm enough to sleep as my body feels its need to slip away, you gently stitch me up and nurse me to health, hardly able to stand you hold my neck and smack me across the face, reminding me i am not to become the thing you love, i am not to become the thing you need. i am only hear to fulfill your wishes, which i am doing poorly. eager to stay silent, i put bread into my mouth, choking on it as i try to swallow and not tear up...
never to be good enough
for the unrealistic goals you've set
can you dance the rhythm set for a flag
can you fall against the glass
not feeling the shards break your skin
here i am slipping once again
well fuck you and all you have to say
i don't need to remember the words
or even your ways
i have learned once before this is how you'll stay
tricking me in to peaceful thoughts
then reminding me of horrible pains
i can stand amidst the broken skies
and i can rise higher than any star
so fuck you and yours truly
id rather bury my own grave than do this one more time.
i feel as though you've taken my toes and put a hammer to each of them, gently caressing my freshly shaven legs and smiling that condescending smile through your deadly eyes, tracing your knife up and down until every ligament has been tore muscle hanging out of my stripped legs, tears falling and i beg you I'll try harder, to do better, knowing i can no longer stand i try ... unconvincing, you lay me down and whisper sweet words of love and trust just waiting for me to calm enough to sleep as my body feels its need to slip away, you gently stitch me up and nurse me to health, hardly able to stand you hold my neck and smack me across the face, reminding me i am not to become the thing you love, i am not to become the thing you need. i am only hear to fulfill your wishes, which i am doing poorly. eager to stay silent, i put bread into my mouth, choking on it as i try to swallow and not tear up...
never to be good enough
for the unrealistic goals you've set
can you dance the rhythm set for a flag
can you fall against the glass
not feeling the shards break your skin
here i am slipping once again
well fuck you and all you have to say
i don't need to remember the words
or even your ways
i have learned once before this is how you'll stay
tricking me in to peaceful thoughts
then reminding me of horrible pains
i can stand amidst the broken skies
and i can rise higher than any star
so fuck you and yours truly
id rather bury my own grave than do this one more time.
the flowers are soft and itchy. just the way they have always been when i lay upon them. your hand is a great distance i cannot reach. i am shy of it. fearful. to let you take my whole self. who can be so magical to conjure up a spell to cast upon this broken heart that could possibly faint my pain long enough to make me smile for a whole day long.
no words stand in place for the feelings i have
no amount of tears can cry them
no amount of blood can forgive them
on my knees again face flush against dirt
rain upon me the winds of earth
remind me why i must live again
you cannot take away the bridge that has burnt
you cannot forget the moments that still has hurt
to dance with you now is like to fall with you then
i vowed a simple promise to never do that again
on my knees mud forms around my face
i am ready to say my goodbyes
let the eagle carry my sorrows
so i may be free to rejoice in death what was taken from me in life
no amount of tears can cry them
no amount of blood can forgive them
on my knees again face flush against dirt
rain upon me the winds of earth
remind me why i must live again
you cannot take away the bridge that has burnt
you cannot forget the moments that still has hurt
to dance with you now is like to fall with you then
i vowed a simple promise to never do that again
on my knees mud forms around my face
i am ready to say my goodbyes
let the eagle carry my sorrows
so i may be free to rejoice in death what was taken from me in life
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